Weekly Nag Purpose

THE WEEKLY NAG is a column dedicated to giving vent to some of the many things that we may find confusing, perplexing, frustrating, exasperating etc. about Island life. It’s tone is intended (the path to hell is paved with…) to be light hearted, and non-libelous.

The Weekly Nag welcomes contributions: All submittals are subject to being edited without review from the contributor. The Nag may publish anonymous submittals, but only if the author is revealed to the Editor

The Imperial Commission

I guess weâ€™ve come full circle from living under a monarchy, engaging in the Boston Tea Party, having a revolution, establishing our Constitution and Bill of Rights and moving right back into rule by the Imperial Commissioners. (Maybe we should have a â€œCatchier Name Contestâ€ for the Imperial Commissioners)

Local private purveyors should gear up to serve the interests of the Imperial Commissioners. You know â€“ Their Majesties Shoemakers, Their Majesties Tailors, Their Majesties Printers, etc. Perhaps the ICs will decide to let their needs out to the lowest bidder, but based on past actions (ala the Majestic Hotel) they will probably just decide who should become suppliers of their needs without regard to any bidding requirements and cost limits established by regulation.

The individual ICs can order their own little pointy shoes, ermine lined scarlet robes, appropriate regal headwear, scepters, etc. to suit their own personal tastes. If they decide to establish a system of knights, lords, ladies, etc., they may also need swords and foils â€“ hopefully just for feudal ceremonial purposes. Local woodworkers, finish carpenters, metalworkers and seamstresses should find fulltime employment building thrones, tables, oversize chairs, draperies, sconces and all that other stuff that goes along with royalty and their trappings. I wonder whom the ICs will select as Court Jester.

We should have seen the signs when they decided there was a huge problem with storm water and drainage to the extent that a property owner tax had to be enacted. Perish the thought that the peasant public should be involved in the decision making process and assure success by threatening anybody who dared to speak against the Imperial Commissioners. The subsequently established information that storm water flow had resulted in a 0.00 toxicity level in San Juan County waters will probably be quickly forgotten and property owners will be hit with yet another idea of how to separate us from our money. If you are an Imperial, you can do stuff like that.

In fact, it has already come up with a different face from a different direction. A ferry official has decided that the property owners in counties and islands served by ferries should pay an enhanced tax to make up the additional costs of the aging ferry system. Never mind that we have always been told that it is a part of the Washington State Highway System and that it has to be supported by state taxes and rider fees.

How many commuters on Washington roadways pay a toll? I wonder what percentage of the riders on any given ferry are actual property owners in the affected counties and islands.

Oh well â€“ who am I to worry my pretty little head about the higher things of life? I can just leave it to the aristocracy and let them decide what is best for me and to let me know how they should spend my money.

Dennis R. Hazelton
San Juan Island

Solution To Those "Always On" Car Lights

(The following was sent in by Dan Zaehring in resonse to the "Loss of Control" Nag posted below this one))

While I am not fortunate enough to own a newer car which automatically shines its headlights when in gear, this subject came up when these vehicles first appeared.

We were told that lifting the emergency brake one or two notches was sufficient to extinguish the headlights, and that such small brake engagement for such a small distance would have zero
impact on brake wear.

Talk About Loss Of Control!

A previous NAG condemns headlight use while boarding Washington State Ferries.

I wish I could turn off my headlights.

I understand that you should not use your headlights when boarding the WA State Ferries but newer cars headlights are fully automated with no way to turn them off.

I have looked for a way to override the auto headlight feature of my car to no avail. I was told that the highway patrol has a way to do it for their vehicles but otherwise it is not allowed.

I have always been disturbed by just about any industries inability to see the far reaching impact of the convenience factor that they determine without regard to the real world.

Scott Tretheway
Orcas Island, WA

Get Tough On Litters; Now & In The Future

When I arrived on San Juan Island six years ago, I was shocked and surprised to see all the trash along the roads and beaches of the area. I could not imagine how people could litter one of the most beautiful locations in this country. Somehow, I naively felt the residents and visitors to these wonderful islands would be above such practices. How wrong I was!

According to local news reports the problem has grown worse, not better, over the years since my wife and I arrived. This point was highlighted to me late last summer.

A neighbor of mine on Eagle Cove, Kris Timmons, recruited two other neighbors (a mother with grown children and a retired gentleman) to help her haul some huge Styrofoam dock float material off the county beach. The same gentleman helped her load her pickup with the Styrofoam and she drove it to the dump.

The Styrofoam had been on the Eagle Cove County Beach long enough for hundreds of its pellets to litter the beach, and it was obvious beach-goers had been breaking apart the Styrofoam without any regards for the effects of their actions. The beach had been very busy for several weeks and hundreds of healthy, young, vigorous beach-goers obviously had made no effort to help clean up the mess. It took three older and less physically able but concerned and responsible citizens to do the job.

With this incident fresh on my mine, a few days later I stopped by Jackson Beach for a few minutes with my dogs. Sitting on one of the picnic tables just a few feet from a trash barrel were a number of beer bottles along with scattered bottle caps. Additionally, there were several soft drink containers on the ground in the area and an assortment of snack food packaging. There was more trash discarded in another area, as well as a dumped couch near the area where the boaters park their cars and trailers. I picked up what I could and dumped it in a trash can. I wish this was not the norm at locations like South Beach and Jackson Beach, but far too often it is.

I know this article is simply a way for me to vent. I do not suppose for a minute that those who litter are the types who read columns like this, or for that matter could even identify a trash container, let alone deposit their garbage in one. The reality of the situation is that the concerned citizens of the islands will continue to have to pick up the litter of the selfish, littering slobs who live and visit here. The most I can hope for is that there is a special place in the hereafter where those who litter, like Dickens' character Marley, will be made to eternally wander the trash dumps of the world draped in a cloak of smelly garbage and refuse.

By John Maya
San Juan Island

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I Have A Solution…

What this island needs are more hardworking poor, ignorant, shy people who don't like to talk to their neighbors.

It seems that every time our government-or anyone-- proposes doing anything, anywhere people get all riled up.

Local governments secure grant money to fund a recycling station and then lose it because the proposed site is in the backyard of a smart, articulate, friendly person who is not afraid to litigate. The county buys a chunk of land and wants to put a public works and, maybe, also a little transfer station on it. The problem (other than paying more than appraised value and being a tad secretive about it) is that the property butts up to a neighborhood of inquiring and inquisitive citizens with some political savvy and good networking skills.

Commercial barge landing site or a huge recreational park at the old gravel pit-those are both out. Those pesky retirees with too much time and money on their hands won't allow that. They already have all the gravel they need to get their homes built and who needs another park.

Ball fields? Oh no, we can't have ball fields. It won't be safe to walk our dogs on the street, what with all those cars headed to the soccer field. (Besides we'll lose our favorite open field doggy latrine?) Neighbors rally against that evil ball field!

Someone wants a permit for a B & B, in the neighborhood? Those people who go to B & B;s will drive on our road. Heaven forbid!

A wood chipper? Sure it will help recycle brush into a useable product, but it makes noise. Cell tower? Too tall, it would compete with my flagpole for the biggest phallic symbol on the block. Affordable housing project? My pet wild ducks who I like to look at when I come home from vacationing in Fiji wouldn't like that at all.

Recently public works posted an ad wanting property for a new transfer station. Who is going to volunteer to sell their property for that project? Only someone who is moving back to the mainland with a big, "I-hate-this-island, stick-it-to-my-neighbors," grudge. You better be kind to your neighbors this holiday season. Even if your neighbor sells to public works, who on this island isn't going to band together with their other neighbors and hire a lawyer to fight something going in next door that is perceived as being a threat to their "quality of life?"

What do other counties do? How do they site unpopular projects? Usually they site them on really big chunks of land far away from people. Big chunks of property cost big bucks, so thanks to the defeat of I-399 counties can continue to condemn and take the property they need.

The island does not have many big chunks of land left-and definitely none that isn't the habitat of some endangered species that we like better than human beings. The other option for locating unpopular projects, used by mainland governments and toxic corporations alike, is to site the projects amongst communities of poor, politically apathetic, uninformed, disenfranchised people. Well, we don't have many of those people either, and those that we have are woven throughout the island landscape. Trailer parks butt up against hotsy-totsy neighborhoods, poor people live in guest cottages near protected shorelines. It won't work.

My solution would be to encourage poor, hardworking, ignorant, shy people who wouldn't talk to their neighbors to move into a new county built affordable housing complex that would be one giant loop with enough open land inside it to site a transfer station, ball field, community park, public works yard, sewer plant, a couple of B & B's, an air strip, wood chipper and, of course, a barge landing.

I think it is a good idea. I can only see a few hang-ups with this solution. First, there still isn't a chunk of land left that is big enough. Secondly, knowing how kind-hearted islanders can be, some rich retired sociology professor married to a civil rights lawyer would probably form a crazy "protect the poor, hardworking, ignorant, shy people who don't talk to their neighbors" committee.

Oh! No! Not another silent auction, spaghetti feed fundraiser to put on my social calendar! That would totally impact MY quality of life!

Sincerely,

"Walter Eegoe"
Friday Harbor

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An Open Letter to Litterers

Hey! Listen up! If I came to your home and started throwing trash in your driveway or yard, or in your house, how would you feel? I bet you wouldn't like it.

When I drive along an island road, or walk a sidewalk in town, or visit a beach, where somebody has carelessly tossed trash, or, worse, deliberately dumped litter, I get mad.

Most people who live on San Juan Island decide to make a home here because the place is beautiful and because island residents value their community and the lifestyle we are able to enjoy here.

So, who is tossing plastic bottles, soft drink and beer cans, chip bags, candy wrappers, styrofoam food containers, cigarette butts, cigarette boxes, construction debris, etc., along our roadways?

I really don't think there is a group of people who deliberately want to "diss" community values and uglify our environment. I think it's an awareness issue, and I think everybody in the community has a responsibility to raise awareness about the litter problem. If you see a tourist tossing something on the ground, suggest he/she pick it up. If you are a parent, tell your kid not to litter. If you are a business owner, provide receptacles for trash. And, if someone drops litter in front of your property, pick it up so it doesn't attract more trash.

This island is our home. Let's take care of it together!

Susan Dehlendorf
San Juan Island

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Hard To Live On An Island & Express A View

My nag is that it is hard to live on a small island and nag. I find plenty of things around me that get my fire up, but just when I am ready to put pen to paper and write a scything editorial, I am reminded why it might not be a good idea to do so.

Will my son's teacher take it out on him if I rail against the WASL tests or too much homework? Or, will I be attacked as a parent: "Don't you want your child to succeed?"

If I complain about some horrible service, or someone being really late, I just know I'll find out through the grapevine that their family has had a bad stomach flu or their dog died and they are still in mourning.

Then there's all the NIMBY's that inhabit the island. Well, they really get on my nerves. However, I know as soon as I open my big fat mouth, they'll be trying to build some nuclear reactor in my back yard and I'll be so "not in MY back yard. "

Finally, there is that fact that as a college graduate I'm still horrible at grammar. By writing a nag I set myself up for the old "and you call yourself a writer?" quip.

So I mutter on, under my breath, reluctantly giving slack and hoping to goodness that every one gives a little back. Thanks in advance, everyone, for all the times you do.

Amy Wynn
Friday Harbor