12/12/2007: "The Imperial Council"

I guess we’ve come full circle from living under a monarchy, engaging in the Boston Tea Party, having a revolution, establishing our Constitution and Bill of Rights and moving right back into rule by the Imperial Council. (Maybe we should have a “Catchier Name Contest” for the Imperial Council)

Local private purveyors should gear up to serve the interests of the Imperial Council. You know – Their Majesties Shoemakers, Their Majesties Tailors, Their Majesties Printers, etc. Perhaps the ICs will decide to let their needs out to the lowest bidder, but based on past actions (ala the Majestic Hotel) they will probably just decide who should become suppliers of their needs without regard to any bidding requirements and cost limits established by regulation.

The individual ICs can order their own little pointy shoes, ermine lined scarlet robes, appropriate regal head wear, scepters, etc. to suit their own personal tastes. If they decide to establish a system of knights, lords, ladies, etc., they may also need swords and foils – hopefully just for feudal ceremonial purposes. Local woodworkers, finish carpenters, metalworkers and seamstresses should find full time employment building thrones, tables, oversize chairs, draperies, sconces and all that other stuff that goes along with royalty and their trappings. I wonder whom the ICs will select as Court Jester.

We should have seen the signs when they decided there was a huge problem with storm water and drainage to the extent that a property owner tax had to be enacted. Perish the thought that the peasant public should be involved in the decision making process and assure success by threatening anybody who dared to speak against the Imperial Council. The subsequently established information that storm water flow had resulted in a 0.00 toxicity level in San Juan County waters will probably be quickly forgotten and property owners will be hit with yet another idea of how to separate us from our money. If you are an Imperial, you can do stuff like that.

In fact, it has already come up with a different face from a different direction. A ferry official has decided that the property owners in counties and islands served by ferries should pay an enhanced tax to make up the additional costs of the aging ferry system. Never mind that we have always been told that it is a part of the Washington State Highway System and that it has to be supported by state taxes and rider fees.

How many commuters on Washington roadways pay a toll? I wonder what percentage of the riders on any given ferry are actual property owners in the affected counties and islands.

Oh well – who am I to worry my pretty little head about the higher things of life? I can just leave it to the aristocracy and let them decide what is best for me and to let me know how they should spend my money.

Dennis R. Hazelton
San Juan Island