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Apology

I blame myself. But I can’t take the entire responsibility. We can all shoulder the blame for allowing our government to get too big. I apologize for my part in this but no matter whose fault it is we will all pay dearly for our apathy.

In the big race to spend tax money we are way out in front. If you add up all of our taxes the people of San Juan County pay the highest per capita rate in Washington by almost 2 to 1 over second place King County. I realize that there are extenuating circumstances and excuses for our “uniqueness”. Per capita rates don’t always tell the whole story. However they do provide a good comparison. The bottom line is we should not be busting our buttons with pride for winning the state-spending derby.

I usually attend at least one budget hearing at the end of each year. It is interesting to note that not one of these hearings has ever started out with the idea of cutting the budget. Department heads, non-profit groups, committees, and others stand up one after another and give the Council their wish list. Council members must feel as giddy as game show hosts. It can be a lot of fun giving away cash and prizes especially if it’s not your own money.

I seem to be one of the lonesome voices for fiscal restraint. How quaint and curious my presence must seem. I am like a salmon swimming against the swift flowing stream of cash and like a salmon I will probably die trying to reverse the flow.

At last years hearing I questioned the costs of implementing the Charter. I was opposed to the idea of hiring an “Information Specialist” charged with painting a smiley face on County Government. My concerns fell on deaf ears. We now have a highly paid “Communications” staff cranking out press releases like the old Soviet Union equivalent of Pravda.

At this years first budget hearing I reminded the Council that one reason to have an Administrator was to find efficiencies in government. This caused several official’s faces to twist up in painful consternation. My mild but earnest rebuke is mentioned in the 2008 budget narrative. However, my concern was quickly dismissed with this quote from Mr. Rose, our Administrator.

“We need to worry less about finding efficiencies than finding effectiveness. Focus on the value. We get the government we pay for, and government on the cheap may not be worth paying for.”

Now wait just a dang minute! How can outspending every other county per capita in the State be called government on the cheap? Good grief! If our government was humming along at 100% peak efficiency why did the people think we needed an Administrator in the first place?

I guess effectiveness requires us to hire a new “Affordable Housing Coordinator” next year. I remember just last May voters soundly rejected funding for a similar proposal. It was not popular. I requested a job description for this position only to find out that one does not exist. The money exists even if we don’t know what this person is supposed to do. We don’t want to have government “on the cheap” so for the sake of effectiveness we must hire someone to spend it on. After all it’s not our money. How’s that for efficiency?

Government continues to grow. I sincerely apologize that I have not been able to make a difference by myself.

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Apocalypse Fatigue Now!

Extinction is tickling my toes. Annihilation is so close I can hear it laughing at me. Total destruction is nipping at my heels as I run toward the edge of the cliff. Obliteration is hiding behind every tree. You probably think I’m kidding around here. I’m not. I am tired of hearing about planetary collapse. I have apocalypse fatigue.

To appreciate the fact that the end of the world is near all you have to do is pick up a newspaper or go to a news web site and point and click on any story at random. Chances are good that it will tell us we are all doomed.

I can confirm that this works from firsthand experience. I put on a blindfold the other day and clicked my mouse randomly (unless you are a trained professional do not try this at home). Bingo! A story of planetary annihilation appeared on my screen right away. It was from the visionary predictors of doom at the UN. Their report says, “The human population is living far beyond its means and inflicting damage on the planet that could pass points of no return. Climate change, the rate of extinction of species and the challenge of feeding a growing population are among the threats putting humanity’s very survival at risk.”

To someone with apocalypse fatigue these words sound like gibberish because we have been hearing this same broken record forever. The human species will wipe out the planet really soon. With each prediction of impending doom there is a warning that we must do something radical to prevent destruction before it is too late. (Insert a religious or political directive here, e.g. repent, buy a hybrid car, quit using Styrofoam, elect the Clintons, whatever.) The prophecies never come true no matter what we do.

Predicting the future is tricky. While some so-called experts are good at explaining why things happened in the past they often lack the skills to accurately predict the future. This teensy little shortcoming in man’s vast array of skills is called “omniscience”. The lack of this talent is what causes most prophecies to go beyond their expiration date or fail altogether. It seems like prognosticators could do better with one of those round “Ask Elvis” magic balls. The answer that floats up most often is “It looks hazy baby, try again.”

I am really tired of being told that my very existence threatens world extinction. I am not going to embrace some bogus ideology simply because some moron says so even if it will head off global destruction. I’m sorry. I have this disease called apocalypse fatigue.

Most people are motivated to change because it is obviously in our own self-interest to change, not because of false threats of global catastrophe. We can rise to any challenge. Technology has kept our species around for centuries. We should ignore the fanatics telling us “We’re all going to die” if we don’t do exactly what they say. As a species I believe we are smarter than that.

The only prescription for this disease is the magic ball. Turn it over and ask Elvis if the planet will survive. Here comes the answer floating up now, “Outlook is good.” All right!

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