Island Guardian

Tuesday, April 25th

A Dishonest and Divisive Debate

I wake up to a frightening scene. Businesses are boarded-up; there are just a few people left in the islands. Is this the fulfillment of some ancient Biblical prophecy? Have aliens beamed-up unsuspecting islanders for hideous experiments? No. It's the day after the special election for the Housing Bank. The tax failed to pass. Now only the helpless rich homeowners are left. Oh my!

The proponents of the housing bank have actually said that if you don't vote for their 50% increase in the real estate excise tax, all of a sudden the working class will disappear before your very eyes. Businesses will close, no music, no theatre, no teachers, law enforcement officers, and medical personnel, gone! No grocery clerks, waiters, nurses, secretaries, barbers, construction workers, and no more county employees. Did I miss any?

It is insincere to make claims like, if we vote against this tax all workers will disappear; that our quality of life will be destroyed. It is simply false to claim that only new people will pay this tax. And it is divisive to turn this debate into class warfare.

To have an honest debate we need to face the facts: The housing imbalance was created by policies that artificially reduced the supply of buildable land. The problem will not go away no matter how many homes government gives away. There is simply not enough room for all the people who want to live here.

Planners knew this ten years ago when the most recent land use laws were passed. They were steering the process on a collision course with affordable housing. This fact was pointed out many times and was ignored. People agreed that it was more important to pass restrictive laws to protect our "quality of life" even though this meant that only wealthy people could afford to build homes here. They did not connect the dots to see the looming housing crisis.

Now the free housing people are crying, "Wolf!" again saying that if we don't vote for another tax our "quality of life" will be ruined. We have heard this "quality of life" argument pulled out to rationalize every imaginable tax and onerous restriction. Medical centers, school levies, recreation taxes, guesthouses, water regulation, you name it, our "quality of life" depends on it. How did we ever survive before we overcame all the threats to our "quality of life"?

Many of the housing tax promoters are the same protect-our-quality-of-life-crowd who are blind to the fact that supporting some of the most restrictive land use policies imaginable actually caused this crisis. Their solution is to raise taxes again thus driving the cost of housing even higher.

Does having the highest per capita taxes in Washington State improve our quality of life? No. It makes living in the islands barely affordable for many of us already. The housing advocacy groups are misleading voters when they say that this is a tax only new people will pay. Don't be fooled. Everyone will pay for this program. It will increase the County payroll and the people living in the cheap housing will be big consumers of County services. Every islander will be taxed for this social engineering project.

To housing tax advocates the debate is not about housing it is about "class struggle". Creating this kind of divisiveness in our community is shameful. Just look at what is being said in letters to the editors: We don't want to live in a monoculture of only the very rich. Up with diversity, down with corporate welfare! The rich owe their "quality of life" to the poor workers. Wealthy retired executives should try fighting fires!

It is wrong to turn people against each other in this way. And it is insulting to hear that just because you own a house you didn't work hard to earn it! Who can really call this an honest debate?

We are being asked to ante-up in order to create a big pot of money. No rules of the game are actually spelled out so we can understand who wins the free houses and who loses. Yet we are being told that workers will disappear, and that our quality of life is on the line if we don't vote for a tax that we actually don't have to pay! It is simply a dishonest debate. Protect our quality of life. Vote No!

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Thursday, April 20th

Bubble Bomb

Take a balloon and fill it up with baking soda. Fill a pop bottle about halfway with vinegar. Fit the balloon tightly over the bottle top and empty the soda into the bottle. This will produce a small explosion similar to what happens when the boys on our County Council set aside the obvious best choice (a well-qualified woman) and handpick an all male squad to set their own pay. A bubble bomb has no fury like a woman scorned.

The angry outburst at the courthouse had been building for a long time. Anything could have set it off. But witnessing the kind of confrontation at the last Council meeting you would have thought the Council had done something really hideous (like ignoring another advisory vote). It is remarkable that something that seemed so innocent like picking one well-qualified volunteer over another well-qualified volunteer could cause such a dust-up. So what is really behind this?

It is a power struggle between our elected representatives and the proponents of the Charter (the people). The Freeholders made a huge mistake when they wrote the document. They failed to impose severe penalties upon Council Members who choose to ignore the Charter. Torture, lethal injection, and hard prison time (with no possibility of getting the top bunk), were rejected as possible punishment for non-cooperation. Instead it was decided that letters to the editor, nasty e-mails, and ex-Freeholders sitting in the meetings scowling at the Council Members, would substitute for any real punishment. Has this worked?

No. Even though people wore expressions that were stern and generally disagreeable the Council would not budge. There were quite a few people that were obviously disgusted with the explanation and for the choice of a MAN that couldn't possibly be qualified enough to sit at the dump in an easy chair.

So, what follows is the Council ChairMAN's explanation. But first imagine that there is a Sumo Wrestler in the courtroom wearing diaper-like shorts and standing next to a gong with a big stick. Every time the ChairMAN says something false or politically incorrect the big fat Sumo Wrestler hits the gong. (Forgive me if the quotes are not exact. I was writing as fast as I can. I think I got the spirit of what was said.)

ChairMAN: "As far as I know I have no gender bias. I have no prejudice against the Freeholders (GONG) . There is nothing personal in my decision. I am very much for the working person. They are underrepresented in this county. They work for the lowest salaries in the State (GONG). It is my job to raise that salary level so that the workingMAN (GONG) can run for office. The MAN (GONG!) I chose for this job has worked outside of the "corporate culture". He (GONG) worked his way up from a lineMAN (GONG) to manager. My decision was in no way sexist (GONG, GONG, GONG!) ." (This is when the Sumo Wrestler actually runs up and tears down the podium that separates the Council from the Administrator and all the little folks in the crowd).

With that said, the Chair was ready to stop wasting time over a decision that was already made and get on with the serious work of the day, like discussion of Bin Laden's dubious connection to Saddam Hussein, and a review of the entire inventory of tax parcels with detached garages.

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Monday, April 10th

Falling into the Jackson Hole

Picture, if you will, the face of a small child innocently staring in fascination at the big red balloon bouncing on his lap. Now picture his face as the balloon explodes. Kablaamm!

Early life is a series of painful disappointments. Slap! You're born. Whack! Circumcision. Myths explode in our faces like popping balloons. No Santa Claus. Pop! No Easter Bunny. Kablaamm! And on and on it goes.

But there are still those who refuse to let go of myths even when there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary. These doubters of reality believe the fairy tale that government can change the laws of economics by waving the magic wand of subsidized housing to create a mixed bag of diversity. Read on while I poke that myth with a pin and make it explode.

But first, can we agree on an example of reality? If we agree that no matter how passionately you believe that a brick wall does not exist, or how many rational arguments you put together to support the theory that it is not really solid, when you give it a running head-butt it will hurt. Agreed? (If not then quit reading now and go try it).

I think we can also agree that in this world there are places more desirable to live than other places. And there is not enough room in those places for everyone who wants to live there. Aspen, Nantucket, Beverly Hills, Jackson Hole, these communities are good examples. When I face reality I know that these are places I will never be able to move because I can't afford to live there let alone buy a house. My following research proves this point.

I went to Jackson Wyoming to look for an affordable house because it is a desirable scenic community. The people there have preserved open space and they have protected the pristine environment we all love. In fact there isn't much land that's not protected. This should be a great place to live. So I went to the real estate web site.

In order to weed out the junk that might be on the market I began my search at the affordable price of $200,000. Sorry, No listings were found that matched your search query. I tried again at $250,000. Same thing happened. And it happened at $500,000, and over and over. There was only one listing under a million dollars. A cute little fixer-upper cabin appeared on the screen for the modest price tag of $999,500.00. Holy Cow! I can't afford that!

And you should see the prices for old log cabins in the woods! Wow! For $5 million you can get a cozy little bungalow on three acres. Immodest homes start at $10 million.

I don't think that's fair. I really want to live in this special community. I should be entitled to live wherever I want. I don't want to flush paycheck after paycheck down the toilet on rent. I need a stake in the community. For diversity they really need a humor columnist who is also a banjo player (like me) to write amusing stuff and to play at the Jackson Hole Hootenanny each week. So I went to find answers to my questions.

Like, if I can't afford a house will the community buy me one? Will I find sympathetic politicians there whose top priority is redistributing wealth and providing homes for colorful people (like me) who add social diversity, vibrancy, and character to the place? Are dogs allowed? Hold on to your laptop because what I learned may shock you.

After years of building subsidized homes there are still not enough to satisfy the demand. In fact, there is a line-up for affordable homes in Jackson Hole that would stretch around the equator 2.3 times. If you were to lay all the wanna-live-there's down head to toe, the line would be even longer. But wait, there's more.

Because so many people want your deed-restricted subsidized house you must work your butt off and stay healthy to keep it. There are strict guidelines about employment. You have to work right there in town for a local business. I think they can even kick you out of one of these homes if you become disabled or call in sick too often. Society dropouts, retired comedians, horse whisperers, rocky mountain oyster-shuckers, typewriter repairmen, need not apply.

The line moves slowly because people never sell their affordable homes in Jackson. Nobody even calls in sick. But every once in a while someone living in one of the many Housing Trust homes dies (or is killed by the people waiting in line). When that happens there is a lottery in their honor for their house. So there is always a chance that I could get in. It is one chance in a million but still a chance. So why are home prices so high?

The community of Jackson, Wyoming has raised both fists and bravely tried to battle the powerful law of supply and demand. They lost (Kablaamm!). Brick wall. It does not help that 97 percent of the land in the county is publicly owned and off limits for development. Thank goodness the "Friends of the Teton's" saved everything.

Successful preservation efforts have contributed to the housing market imbalance and created an enclave of the elite. Sound familiar? Their attempt to hold on to the myth that government programs fueled by high taxes can create diversity and change the laws of economics, collided with the brick wall of reality. They can't build enough homes for the line-up of people that want to live there.

And this is my point. If we as a community were really serious about affordable housing we should look honestly inside ourselves and change the root cause of our problem. The root cause is that we are unwilling to share this place. So we have been on a campaign to limit housing alternatives, reduce density, and preserve everything until we have choked out the very diversity we cherish. If we keep going in this direction we will destroy the very things that attracted us all to this place to begin with.

What we need is an honest debate about why a house costs so much before we fall into the Jackson Hole. A new tax will only add to our problem. Politicians can't change the law of supply and demand by tinkering around with subjective ideas of diversity. If given a chance free market principles will work every time. Why not come to terms with the real reasons we got into this jam in the first place?

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